“Just man up.” “You’ll get over it.” “Real men don’t cry.”
Sound familiar?
South African men are often raised to hide emotions, stay strong, and push through — no matter what. But here’s the truth:
Mental health doesn’t care about gender.
And bottling up stress, sadness or anxiety doesn’t make it go away — it makes it worse.
Why men struggle in silence
In SA (and many cultures), men are taught:
To solve problems, not speak about them
That expressing emotion = weakness
That “mental health” isn’t their business
The result? Many men suffer quietly from:
Depression
Anxiety
Substance abuse
Burnout
Suicidal thoughts
And sadly, men are less likely to ask for help — but more likely to die from suicide.
Common signs of mental health struggles in men
Mental health issues don’t always show up as tears or sadness. In men, they often show up like this:
💢 Anger or irritability
🛌 Withdrawing from family or friends
🍻 Drinking more than usual
😴 Constant tiredness or sleep problems
💼 Overworking or disconnecting from hobbies
💬 Saying things like “I’m fine” when they’re clearly not
What can help
💬 Talk about it — even just once
Open up to a friend, partner, brother, pastor, coach — someone you trust. Talking reduces pressure.
🏃 Get moving
Exercise helps release feel-good hormones and clears the mind. Even a 30-minute walk can help.
🎧 Disconnect to reconnect
Step away from noise — phones, TV, work. Just breathe. Sit outside. Clear your head.
🍽️ Look after the basics
Eat proper meals, get enough sleep, stay hydrated. A strong mind starts with a strong body.
🧠 Seek professional support when needed
Talking to a therapist, psychologist or mental health worker isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.
For the women reading this
If there’s a man in your life who seems different lately — moody, distant, always angry or isolating — don’t ignore it. Ask him how he’s really doing.
Even if he shrugs it off, he’ll remember that someone noticed.
You’re not broken. You’re human.
Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t make you less of a man.
Crying doesn’t make you weak.
Asking for help doesn’t make you soft.
It makes you brave.
